Decker 06 by Faye Kellerman

Author:Faye Kellerman [Kellerman, Faye]
Format: epub
Publisher: Unknown
Published: 2010-02-17T08:10:54+00:00

'Because you're beautiful. And you've got an entire family that needs you. I need you, okay?' 'That's all good and fine, except you just don't understand, Peter.' Decker sighed. 'Explain to me what I don't understand.' 'What's the use? You won't understand anyway.' Decker bit his lip. 'Give it a whirl. Please?' Rina turned to face him. 'Well, imagine if you were suddenly castrated—' 'Darlin', that's not the same thing.' 'See, I told you you wouldn't understand.' Again Decker bit his lip. 'Sorry. Go on.' A moment of silence passed. 'Okay, so maybe you're right.' Again she looked at him. 'It's not exactly the same thing. Because men's image of themselves is usually confined to that one location. With women, it's the whole body. Not only have I been rendered useless locally, making me feel I've lost my purpose as a woman—' 'Rina—' 'Will you just hear me out?' 'Go on.' 'Thank you!' She cleared her throat. 'Not only have I lost the seat of my womanhood, but right now, as of this moment, my whole body is about as sensual as an overstuffed pillow. I've got rolls and lumps and mammoth-sized hips and breasts the size of watermelons!' Decker muttered out loud, 'So what's wrong with that?' Rina laughed, then began to cry. 'Honey, it's all in your mind.' 'The reading on the scale is not in my mind, Peter!' 'Why the hell are you weighing yourself when you've just delivered three days ago?' 'I always weigh myself. That's what women do.' 'You're setting yourself up. Of course you've got a little extra weight. You've just had a baby, for Christ's sake!' 'Will you stop scolding me!' Rina yelled. Decker didn't answer, reminding himself to unclench his jaw and breathe normally. He had popped an Advil fifteen minutes ago when he had felt a headache coming on. Maybe he should have taken two. Finally he said softly, 'I know you won't believe this, darlin'. But really, you are still very sexy to me!' 'It's not enough to be sexy to you, Peter,' Rina whispered. 'I want to feel sexy, period! Feel like a woman again. I want to look like a woman again. Not some useless piece of breeding stock. That's why I want to be with Hannah. At least when I'm with her, I see what my body produced.' She smiled softly. 'She was worth every lump and bump. I just wish I . . .' Tears formed in her eyes. 'What's the use?' Decker digested all her words. 'You think about your appearance a lot?' 'Not a lot. Just when I feel useless and look like a cow.' Rina paused. 'That's not totally true. I do think about how I look. Every woman does. Just because I have a ring on my finger doesn't mean I don't take pride in my appearance. Don't you?' Decker said, 'Truthfully, I don't give it a whole lot of thought. Just as long as I'm clean . . . maybe I should.

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